Pandora’s Ponders : Letter To My Younger Self

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Queen…my dear Queen,

Do you know I changed my first name from Queen to Amina? I got tired of those annoying comments like……Queen, where is your king? Ugh.

I miss you. I wish I could be like you again & make some changes. Like being too uptight. Trying to be the best at every moment. The truth is, you don’t have to be perfect. Its okay to fail. Its okay to play Ten-Ten during break, its okay to cry out loud when you are flogged, its okay to be angry, its okay to let people know you are angry at them. Its okay to tell your friends about your family, its okay to tell your family about your friends, Its okay if you get 60% in a test,  Its okay for Hauwa to tease your big head, Its okay to be a child.

You see, those grown ups you admire their lives & you wanna be an adult so bad. Most them have no idea what they are doing. Grown-up live is full of so much bullshit. So if you can, enjoy being young……….it will be one of the most peaceful time of your life.

Life and being grown up really is different from what you think it is. Its NOTHING like you imagine. You have this life plan mapped out & you can’t wait to be an adult.

Graduate with a first class.
Get a job at Wema bank
Buy a car & a house
Get married, have kids.
LOL…….that means laugh out loud. Anyway.

Brethren, your life turned out NOTHING like you expected it to be.

I know you are used to being the prettiest in the room, a time will come when no-one will find you pretty. Not even yourself.
I know you are used to being the smartest or atleast, one of the smartest…a time will come when you will be the dumbest.
I know you are used to being the star girl. A time will come when you will be the most irrelevant person in the group.

The most important people will walk out of your life, those mtherfckers you’ll make sacrifies for. You will question the wisdom of your actions. The real friends? Well, you’ll push them away & wonder….where did they go?

Then the aches will come, the seizures, the drugs……when you look into the mirror, you’ll wonder who this is? With the wooly tangled hair, eye socket almost invisible, who is this pale outrageously thin crazy person?

I don’t want to scare you, so I won’t go into details. What I can tell you to expect is that…..life will pick you up, flip you, toss you to the floor, kick you & make you worse than shit.

Heyyy, Are you getting worried?  Don’t be. You’ll be fine. I’m fine…so you’ll be.
I’m just letting you know coz I wish someone had told me life is not a bed of roses……I mean, I saw the quotes in one or two books I read but…….It really didnt relate to me.
I wish someone had told me….”Shit happens, Shit will happen. Get prepared”.

All these shortcomings look bad at first. But these really is what will shape & groom you into this beautiful young woman you have become. You will change. The new you is confident, loud, makes jokes, considerate, talks back at people when need be, she talks & eats in public without caring if anyone sees her, she puts on loose clothes even if its not in vogue. She pleases herself always. She knows she isn’t perfect. She doesn’t try to be. She is simply awesome. She has achieved so much & I know you will be proud of her.

She still has a long way to go….there are still trials….there are still obstacles……but with who she has become, the lessons she has learnt, she promises you one thing, one thing you always wanted……..’SUCCESS’ She promises you…

Your Comments are appreciated.

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