Pandora’s Ponders : When I Grow Up!

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I nursed quite a number of future ambitions, while growing up.

AGE 3-7 -I wanted to be a banker.
Solely because my beloved Uncle that taught me how to write an informal letter was studying Banking & Finance.

AGE 7-10 – I wanted to be a newscaster.
I was quite stunned with the great level of attention NTA’s Ruth Benemifia Opia got. We (my family) didn’t, infact we never missed an episode of newsline. I started reading newpapers and any article I found around the house; In front of the tv with my nerd glasses.

AGE 11 – I wanted to be a tourist/ Ambassador.
Tourist because, I just wanted to see the world.
Ambassador, I didn’t have an idea what an Ambassador does. I just loved the word ‘Ambassador’. There was just something vastly authoritative about it.

AGE 12 – Miss World
I didn’t care if you had to be tall & beautiful to habour this ambition. I didn’t care that it involved a little bit of skin show. I didn’t care if you had to be miss Nigeria before being Miss World. All I cared about was to be Miss World.

AGE 13 – Neurosurgeon –
Like I knew what it entailed. Lol. I just wanted to seem audacious when I filled slum books. Ben Carson inspired this dream. But it died faster than Chris Brown in Taken.

AGE 14 – None.
I was in my ‘God please lead me right, because I have no idea what I want to do with my life’ phase.

AGE 15 – Medical Doctor.
My father invoked this dream on me. Me, being the ‘people pleaser’. I didn’t complain, didn’t argue. I owned it. This gullible decision of mine affected me later in life….but that’s story for another day.

AGE 16 – Teacher.
‘I want to become a teacher’. It all started out as a joke, in one of my daring to be different attention craving moments. I later fell in love with this ambition. I don’t know where it came from. But I was highly passionate about teaching.

So immediately after my graduation from secondry school, I applied for a teaching role in one ‘pako’ school close to my house. (This was my desperate attempt to prove how determined and driven I was).  I got the job.

On my first day, I wore my fav Zara blazer with a random jean. I thought I looked dashing. I got to the school just in time for assembly. I got queried. Apparently, I was to arrive school as early as 7:15am.

Guess why? So I could sweep the class before the pupils arrive. What the actual hell?!

Anyway, I was to be an auxilliary teacher for Nursery 1, Imagine! with my high level of intelligence and practical but most importantly, effective method of instilling knowledge in people (Excuse my cockiness).

I started the day with screaming ‘A B C’ at the top of my voice. Way out of my comfort zone.

Break time, I distributed the kids with their lunch boxes and made sure they ate. I have to say, I’m not a fan of little children. I know they are cute and all. I just…I don’t know.

Anyway, school over. I was ordered to wait till every pupil had left the school. Meaning, I was to wait till every parent came for their kids.

5:15pm, just when I thought my day was finally over. The proprietress started giving me some cool stories…
‘We are still developing, we don’t don’t have enough money to employ cleaners yet. So you’ll do the sweeping for your class’.

Like that wasn’t enough. She continued…‘And we don’t allow trousers here, you know the kids can get distracted with your view from behind’.

‘Ok Ma, I understand’ . Was my response.

Oh, did I mention I was to be paid #5,000/month? (My Mum didn’t name me ‘charity’ for a reason).

When I got home, I didn’t even think about my day. I showered, ate, prayed and slept till the next morning.

Woke up by 6:15am. Watched the clock tick to 7:00am. Still on my bed. I gazed at my phone and played sudoku till 7:30am.

8:00am, I sent a text to the proprietress
‘Sorry Ma’am, I Quit!’

That was the death of my ‘teacher’ ambition.

Respect to all the good teachers out there. Your reward truly is in Heaven.

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8 thoughts on “Pandora’s Ponders : When I Grow Up!

  1. Story of my life. I quit after 3 days. Teaching is great and can be fun but pleeeease not more than two nursery one pupils at a time! Some people though, are endowed with the grace and patience. The reward on earth comes with the satisfaction when a young (or not so young) and accomplished person walks up to ‘old’ you and says ‘Good morning aunty. Remember me? You taught me in nursery one’. It feels good knowing you contributed to moulding and nuturing someone that turned out well even if there isn’t much material gain.

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  2. Hahaha! At least you got to live out your ‘teacher’ dream. Gee! I wouldn’t have coped; I feel you! I still harbor the tourist/ambassador dream and the newscaster dream 😀 😀 Let’s keep our fingers crossed to see which I finally become. Lol. Lovely post as usual! ❤

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